Perhaps you are old enough to remember the restaurant concept in which the servers insulted the diners during their meal. One had a slogan, “putting the FU in fun.” Eventually, it lost its fresh appeal and disappeared. It began about the same time as talk radio began driving ratings by driving anger. Insult culture grew in popularity through rage radio, podcasts and live performances with live-call in or audience engagement. Picking up the power of manipulating “negative” emotions, it also created a culture that began to thrive on one-upping the verbal assault. It wasn’t long before the need to reap 140 character posts, soundbites from videos, and memes reshaped political debate. Debate strategy focuses now on producing soundbites for viral possibilities. The turn of phrase, the sound of a crowd booing, the cheers for an insult that lands – all these supersede truth and facts.
Supporters of Charlie Kirk talking to more moderate or liberal friends seem intent on promoting Kirk as someone unafraid to debate those who held different opinions. I have been told that he encouraged civil discourse.
I disagree. He was just another shock jock putting on a show. The whole thing was a performance to make money off and in the culture of rage. And make money he did.
I’ve watched some of his events. “Civil” discourse, and thoughtful debate is not what you got at a rally with Charlie Kirk. Common sense should inform you that few college students would ever show up for another civil political or religious roundtable. One giveaway about Kirk’s events being a performance is evident in observing that Kirk rarely listens to an argument being offered.
Key-words are all Kirk needs to find his way in, to interrupt the person at the mic, cut off their attempts to make their statement, insult their thoughts, humiliate them with pejorative name-calling, and demean people while riling up a crowd to boo them away from the mic. Within all the rhetoric, Kirk has already left the speaker behind to make his prepared little speech on that subject while watching the crowd, gauging how to involve them in his attack. It is obvious, demonstrable emotional provocation and manipulation, and today, that drives up following, participation, and monetization.
So, if you are grieving his death, be clear, you are grieving another entertainer who likely laughed at how easily you reached into your wallet or mobile pay to give him a good payday. Be aware that his audiences were manipulated into supporting his immoral and heinous talks about what’s wrong in America while he was adding up his bank the same way a cult leader recruits his crowd.
His talk harmed people. It gave talking points to family members to hurt their relatives who are LGBTQIA+. It encouraged engaging in public acts of verbal and physical abuse toward people of color. It honored people for saying vile things about anyone who is not a white male (yes, women were worthy targets)..
So, please, if you really value civil discourse, if you really think this guy was a hero because he wanted a good debate, then try it. Write down what you really do agree with, in your own words, in your own perspectives about the divisive topics of today. Include what kinds of emotions are stirred up in you regarding those areas. Then call a friend you know thinks differently and politely ask, “can we meet for a drink and have a real conversation about some things. I’d like to know what you actually think instead of what a bunch of political pundits tell me you believe.” And most importantly, when you get started, don’t recite anything you wrote down. Just actually listen to the answers to your questions. Don’t interrupt, don’t labe, don’t insult, don’t assume. Just be curious.
If you find yourself name-calling, even in your own thoughts, if you discover you want to shout, interrupt, start arguing, even in your own thoughts, don’t be a kirk—just listen and see if you can paraphrase their perspective accurately. Pay the bill and go home and think about it awhile.
Get out of the cult of rage and into the culture of making friends.
bevfriedlander 